Why do people get depressed?

so...why do ppl get depressed? or even bigger question, why do depressed ppl say they dont know why they are depressed. "no reason why im depressed, i just am" well i dont believe in that. there has to be a reason why ppl are and get depressed. i dont understand how you can just be depressed out of nowhere. there has to be something thats making you unhappy in your life. whether its the people around you, the person you are in love with, your family, your friends, your job, your bills, where you live, what you do, and yourself ect ect. there must be a reason. ppl who claim they dont know, they do know. deep down inside, they know whats making them sad, but sometimes they just dont want to admit it to themselves..maybe they are ashamed, maybe they are embarassed...maybe they are in denial? who knows. all those bullshit ass commericals about it being a chemical imbalance in your brain and shit? guess what, thats all bullshit and there is no evidence of that being true! that is just a "theory", that it might be why ppl are depressed. so these big companies make you turn away from the real reason why you are depressed, they make you buy their meds in order to fix your depression instead of fixing what you really need to be fixing! your just taking that problem, puttin it in a hole, and just burying deeper and deeper. they just wanna make money off your ass, so they feed you lies...imbalanced chemicals my ass. i bet most ppl dont even know that its not true, but just "theory". but then again, ppl say that it worked for them...hmm placebo effect lookin ass....anyways, those are my thoughts about that subject, stop poppin pills!

Going Thru Life Changes

So, ever since October rolled around, shit has been shitty. My family is fn crazy and so divided. My step mom is so messed up in the head, she is the most evil person ever. She is always out to get me, it just doesnt make sense why she does it and why does she even bother? What does she gain out of it? Who knows. My dad keeps pressuring me about marriage, actually, everyone is pressuring me about it. when are you going to get married??? when when when??? what the hell is the rush, its so aggravating!! they are making me feel like i'm an old ass woman, i just turned 23 ppl!! I have someone but he's not ready and when i really think of it, neither am i. Why do ppl throw themselves into marriage when they dont even know or have discovered themselves? i think thats a big mistake, to go into marriage not knowing who you are. you need to be independent of yourself and learn to live without needing anyone. i recently found out who my true friends are and regret alot of things. the friends that i ditched these past couple of years, were actually the realest and most genuine of all. It just sucks because i try so hard to be a good friend but then i just give up on people or something? or i did. i went back and apologized to one of my friends who used to be my best friend, she never made me feel less of myself and she was always there for me no matter what. she always went the extra mile. whenever i try to rmr why we drifted apart, i dont rmr anything..i have shitty memory! but yeah, pressure from all sides about marriage, finding out whos real and whos not...then comes school. im tryin to finish up by the summer so i can graduate and then pursue my real dreams which is HAIR and MAKEUP but mostly hair! i will never get sick of that. its my true passion. i like making ppl feel better about themselves! and changing their hair and makeup is an instant self-esteem boost that you wont get from any psychologist...(which is also my major). but yeah, school is really tough this year..all hard classes and shit. so this month was super hardcore. i have never been so stressed out. i really hit rockbottom but at the same time i learned a valuable lesson. there is no such thing as a best friend anymore, best friends is middle school shit, things were simple. but now, everyone talks shit about everyones back, the only person who wont talk shit about you is your wife or your husband-what my boo said to me...its actually true when i think about it. the only person who has your back is your significant other, everyone else will dessert your ass. idk, just my thought. and you cant rely on anyone, dont ever rely on anyone. the only person ill prolly rely on is my future husband. so i was left all alone, all my friends desserted me and then at that moment, i knew that ppl come and go and all you have in the end is your family. ive been hanging out with my cuz and at my uncles house this whole fall break, and i havent enjoyed myself this much since forever. no drama, no shit talking, no bitchness, and no DRAMA. arab girls are so fuckin dramatic! im arab, i can say that! haha. seriously, live and let live bitches, damn. so as much as i was depressed and shit, it made me open my eyes. it forced me to be happy alone and to enjoy my own company. yeah it sucks and yea its boring but then you begin to value your alone time, which is what im going thru now. i hate being alone cuz ill get bored, but day by day it will get easier and easier. so recent lesson i learned? only rely on yourself and dont be depressed over anyone, you will end up losing yourself cuz no one else will give two shits, you gotta do you!

long ass blog! but thats my current life in a nutshell bitches.